Expected hiccup

It has been a couple of months since I have blogged. And quite honestly, I feel that is because when I announced to the world (ok. ok, I know I don't have any 'blog followers' yet, but I am referring to the fact that I am writing on a public domain where someone could one day see it) that I was embarking on this quest I began feeling worse than I have in a long time. Worse physically, emotionally, and at times, spritually. Sometimes I find solace in the words of one of my heroes, Joseph Smith Jr, who once said
'It seems as though the adversary was aware, at a very early period of my life, that I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me? Why the opposition and persecution that arose against me, almost in my infancy?'

At times I have felt that 'the adversary was aware' 'that I am destined to prove a disturber and annoyer of his kingdom' and 'the powers of darkness combine against me.'

A Lesson Learned

Recently, part of my quest has been in praying that He will take my weaknesses and make them into strengths. I have also prayed that I would have Charity. The true charity that is more than taking in a meal to someone, donating to a charity or watching someone's children, but is a true Christ-like love for those around me. The kind of love that is patient, long-suffering, and kind, without envy, frustration, or anger. I want to see people the way He sees them.
As crazy as is sounds, I guess I kinda hoped that these things would just happen, that Heavenly Father would finally decide that I have prayed enough for this gift and I would one day wake up and have a deeper love for mankind, and no desire to do any evil.
Instead, I have been given unique opportunities where I have been faced with increased negativity from others, have been persecuted for who I am and what I believe, have had people focus their energy on some of my weaknesses and not rejoiced in my strengths, have been accused of things I haven't done and even more challenging scenarios. In each of these cases I have had to decide how I am going to handle it. I have had to make a conscience choice to do my best to follow the example of Christ.
These challenges have tested my love for mankind, and have brought my weaknesses square in front of my face. But I have also seen some growth. I have seen that I have handled the situation better now than I think I would have a couple of years ago. I have felt His strength helping me and have felt Him lift the burden when I finally decided to give it to Him. I have had to make a choice, to have these experiences help me become a bitter person or a better person. Although I am not perfect at it, I have tried to do the latter.

Ha Ha New Blogger

Ok, now it is blatantly obvious... I AM A NEW BLOGGER! I am such a novice in blogging that I forgot to label that last post so it labeled itself 'New Blogger' announcing to everone that I have no idea what in the world I am doing. The only thing they missed is making it neon and flashing, and hey why not add some sound to it too? There probably is a way to change the title, but I don't know how. It should have been labeled MY QUEST, but oh well. Lesson learned.

I also know that I can customize my blog, making it eye-catching, yet soothing, strong, yet friendly, beautiful, yet not over-the-top...but again, I don't know how to do it. I will have to ask one of my 'hipper' (and probably younger) friends to help me make this better. Or, maybe I should just ask Nate. He is my 7 year old son and can probably make his own blog from scratch. Wait! He probably already has one.

New Blogger

I am on a quest. The quest is to become the best me I can be. To unlock and discover who I am and always have been, but at times have not recognized. Quintessense is defined as the most nearly perfect manifestation of something. Therefore, to become the best version of myself in my purest form, I am embarking on my Quest for Quintessense.

Quintessence

The purest and highest nature or real character of something. In ancient and medievel philosophy it is the fifth and highest essense or element of which heavenly bodies were thought to be made, distinguished from the four elements of earth, water, air and fire. Also known as the 'essense of Heaven.' The highest essense of anything in it's purest and most concentrated form.